Jesse Elan smiling, in a black t-shirt

Keeping everyonehappy isn't yourfull-time job.

A program for ADHD people pleasers and overthinkers who want to stop putting everyone else first.

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  • Master boundaries

    Express your needs without feeling like you're causing harm. Gain the respect of others by confidently upholding your limits.

  • Downgrade guilt

    Reduce the impact guilt has on your decisions, relationships and quality of life.

  • Improve self-trust

    Stop second-guessing your thoughts and emotions regardless of how other people react.

The Overthinkers Freedom Framework

10 weeks of one-on-one training to free yourself from people pleasing.

  1. Boundaries Ninja Training

    Master the art of holding your ground, without over-explaining.

    • Define Your Limit: Figure out what you actually need and tolerate, without the people-pleasing filter.
    • Own Your No: Say no clearly and unapologetically, without the emotional meltdown.
    • Hold the Line: Uphold your limits when people push back, because unfortunately some people will.

  2. Disarm the Guilt

    Stop feeling like you're constantly failing everyone.

    • Audit the Noise: Deep dive into when and how guilt shows up for you.
    • Reduce the Impact: ADHD-friendly tools to minimize its effects on your daily life.
    • Spot the Guilt Trip: Notice when other people are using guilt against you.

  3. Rebuilding Self-Trust

    Relearn to be confident in your own thoughts and emotions.

    • Update the Programming: Unpack what you were told growing up, that you were overreacting, overthinking, or too much.
    • Stop Outsourcing Validation: Break the habit of looking to others to confirm your decisions.
    • Become Your BFF: Be someone you like to be around and trust to have your back.

What recovering people pleasers and overthinkers are saying

Scott, a client, talking about working with Jesse
Scott
Message from Putu Careen: "you have taught me how to achieve dreams, you taught me to be myself free from the bonds of other people, you taught me how to be a strong person"
Message from Eti P.: "Working with Jesse always felt as if he totally gets me. I was seeking guidance in relationship issues and asking the right questions and putting a mirror in front of me, he was able to make me understand the real issue that lies within me. With his emotional intelligence and an open mind he can connect to the problem in a way that makes you feel understood and gain clarity. Our sessions really helped me to gain perspective and focus on my values."
  • “I was surprised how much of an impact our sessions had in such a short amount of time.”

    David R.

  • “I was able to use these techniques daily and noticed improvements when it comes to handling my very intense emotions.”

    Andi W.

Schedule a free call
Jesse Elan sitting and smiling, in a black t-shirt

Hi, I'm Jesse.

ADHD coach, psychological counselor and recovering people pleaser.

You try to get everything right. Keep people happy. Avoid letting anyone down. I know, because I lived like that most of my life.

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 16, but it took well into my 30s to accept it. I only showed up when I was in a good mood, 'cause I believed no one wants to be around a buzzkill. People thought I didn't care. The truth was I cared so much it was eating me alive.

In my mid-20s I found myself in an existential depression and started using video to talk to myself. Almost immediately I saw that I was kind and understanding to everyone else, but to myself I was a bully.

I started doing this video technique with friends, then friends of friends, while apprenticing with my mother, a licensed psychologist. In 2013 I launched my practice, and later got certified in video therapy (2018) and narrative therapy (2021).

I've been where you are, and I know how much better life can get. My mission is to be the guide I wish I had when I was diagnosed, so you can avoid the blood, sweat and tears and live life on your own terms.

Ready to say what you NEED and still be respected?

Free 30-minute discovery call.

No need to prepare anything. Just come as you are. By the end, we'll both know if we're a good fit to work together.

Even if we don't continue, you'll leave with more clarity about your situation and how best to move forward.